‘Write drunk, edit sober’, they say. In this spirit, here's what a nightly 40 minute train ride during Christmas break back in Germany resulted in.
So, here I am. A few weeks back home. The flight back home was more weird than the flight to Dublin. Old habits, old schemes, another world. Plus: I lived at my parents' again. I lost a friend while I was back in Germany (nobody died), I didn't see as many peope as I thought I would. But the few I met were more real. For the most part. Thanks to the few.
It's so weird. It's a whole different world, but it's also not. My favourite songs stay the same, but Hamburg doesn't take a break. People stay the same. And I do, too, for the most part. So what's the point and what am I thinking about?
I think Erasmus, being abroad is just another level of being yourself. Being reduced, being who you want to be, maybe. No legacy combined a whole new, different culture. If you wanted to, you could be a whole different person. Maybe you are. Maybe you're not. Maybe you chose to be an asshole, maybe you're just slightly different, maybe you stick to the same values as before but the world around you makes it all different.
It sounds like the douchiest thing, but I'm really glad I get the opportunity to live abroad for almost a year. I already met enough great people, but if would've just have been 4 months, it would've felt like a longer vacation. I feel like I just arrived at home in Dublin. It definitely is more my home right now than that room I used to live in when I was a kid.
Sitting here in the metro, S-Bahn, subway or what you may call it, it's painfully obvious that life continues, even without me. You may be surprised, but I'm not talking shit. Even all the trains and stuff. I, of course, talk about how nothing changes. People do the same stuff and go to the same places. And stay the same. In some cases that's bad and in some cases it's not too bad.
I'm really not getting at a 'moral high ground' thing here, I'm just observing. It's a luxury to be in this position, and I'm not sure yet that I get everything out of it I should. Other than sexually, of course. Heya, Erasmus, you got me laid a lot. I mean that in the classiest way you could think of, really. Freeing, I'd say. International, certainly. Less constrained, also. People know less about you when you're abroad. So you can be yourself a whole lot more.